Friday, 27 December 2013

Wednesday, 25 December 2013

Love And Care

"How much?"about this, I am not Sure,
But yes, it should always be pure,
Because it has the power to heal and Cure.

Who's She?

She has just come from her working place.
Now she doesn't have anything to distract her spaghetti thoughts.
She is feeling like a lava of anger inside her ready to be burst.
She looks around to ascertain her empty vicinity.
Once assured, she feels like crying with all afflictions hidden by her smiling disguise.
But wait, Her tears refuse to come.
She feels like bawling on her deceiving tears.
It seems like her tears' sea has been overlaid by a desert where only dry winds of screams can blow..
She feels a void inside, left by her heart
Her soul starts yelling but then she is too busy sorting out her anger in mind, first.
She looks around once again.
This time her loneliness laughs at her which she has chosen for herself.
She feels like snatching the curtain rudely apart
She feels like shearing her beloved pillow away
She feels like throwing her love, books, in a one go.
She feels like breaking her favorite coffee mug into pieces as much as possible
She feels like dropping her quintessential cellphone on the floor with all her mighty power.
She feels like splashing her wonderful water all around to resemble her messing thoughts.
She feels like burning those smiling faces of her hanging on wall which seems now as if insulting her present.
She feels like painting her regular admirer, her mirror, with black.
She feels like hurting the world with her sharp words in a way they have hurt her immensely.
She feels like ending every strings she has woven with people in her lived life.
She wants every light flickering around to be set off forever,inviting darkness of which she was once afraid of.
She feels like She hates herself.
She feels like She can never love again.
She feels like her power, to care or to help, has died.
She looks at herself.
She feels disgusted.
She asks herself," Who is this girl?"
As she refuses to accept this violent creature because she has seen herself as a girl with innocence brimming in a soft heart, always.
Then who is this girl?
She screams to get an answer.
But only silence echoed.
Hopelessly, She buries herself in her bed.
She tries sleeping but her sleep comes in wide open eyes, stopping her from closing her eyes.
Her, open eyes start dreaming of past where the child inside her used to set her world colorful, bright and shinning with a eternal faith on happiness .
She console her mind that her questions are useless and need time to be forgotten as they can never get any reply.
She, finally feeling defeated, asks herself to accept her this new descendant.
She, lastly before closing her tired eyes, ask herself a last question,
"Why this upheaval occurred?"
But then too meek to try finding reply she chooses to close her eyes.

It's all because she has left him with her heart. But there's no one to gift her this "only" reply. So, the truth dissolves itself in the music of air with a hope that she will listen to it one day.





Slowly the wind, filtered from the curtains, comes and the water from the mug rises with words coming out from her books to reach her.
But before touching, they take mirror which is ready with her reflection,her blinking cellphone and the echoes of her hanging giggles along with them as their companion.
Finally,through the bridge of her pillow, they touch her to awaken her soul.
The desert within her eyes gets uncovered and a tear's tide reaches its shore, her cheeks.But this mere tear has fallen with a decision to get dry before she opens her eyes.
The blissful touch finally swallows her anger and grants her power to wear a smile for the world waiting for her, tomorrow. 

Wednesday, 11 December 2013

Crossing Roads

As she entered her house, anger within her was stirring her body to meet a crash. She has rebuked a person in bus who was at verge of assaulting her although she was not an impulsive lady.
"Why didn't you come to pick me up?"
She bawled at her husband who was already present at home.
"Really Sorry, I had to go somewhere urgentlthat i forgot to inform you",he answered meekly.
"Great, Do you know i have to take a bus?"
"Oh! Thank god, you got one." he ignored the disguised feeling of her while she said bus.
"Yeah! Sorry,actually it was my mistake that my car ditched me and that i expected a help from you"
"But you got a bus and reached safely that's more important"
"I don't want to argue any more if you are completely oblivious to how filthy buses seems to me"
"Shruti, It was a Bus", he said disappointed while his voice attempted to fill the word "bus" with an old stress acquainted to an intense emotion in him.

He left their living room with his renowned calmness which always have made her feel guilty after their sweet- salty fights but this time he left her mind boggling with memories, which she has otherwise overlaid meticulously with her career. The time trickling by the clock seemed to be moving in past to her. The wall drowned with her favourite colour, pink, slowly started fading away. Her Heart started thumping then became calm, once she reached where the word "bus" has destined for her .


She is standing at her bus stop waiting, although her mind is not at all in a waiting state but is well preoccupied by what she was going to do at her office today and also about her fight with her mom, who was exaggerating advantages of being married and finally concluded that she should get married soon. She looked at her watch and cursed Delhi bus service. Then, she saw him coming with an old lady whom she assumed to her grandmother. When he came close to her, she tried to evade away from him but he unknowingly stood besides her with some distance between them as he would have done any other day. She murmured few words to herself then again got lost in her thoughts. He, as usual, shyly gazed her. She knew it but never tried to humiliate or insult him as her inner voice always said to her that he wasn't a flirt kind of person and the care he was showering on her grandmother somehow created a soft corner for him in her heart. But still she had planned to scold him in future.She has observed while he left the bus after her, his grandmother's stop was first. She wondered, "might be his grandmother had to visit some temple daily as her age certainly couldn't allow her to work".
Next day, She saw that only his grandmother was coming towards bus stop and it seemed too obvious that she was struggling hard to move without his support and company so she went close to the old lady and helped her to board the bus.
They sat together. After some stops passed by, she collected enough courage to ask the old lady,"why today grandson didn't come?". 
Old lady started laughing, leaving her stunned, then, answered "Oh! Arjun, he is not my grandson, in fact, he is just a stranger who has once helped me when i was about to faint on road one day", old lady words started to roar with bus. 
While her jaw dropped and a cold sweat drenched her but she further asked," but where do you go daily?",hiding her concern for  Arjun, the name she has just acquainted.
" temple else where? He advised me, not to come daily but then what will i do the whole day at home so when i declined his advise he said that he will accompany me daily till bus stop",old lady continued to blabber about him but she felt speechless hence said nothing just nodded her head but lady further said,"A good boy, who are rare now, anyways bye, my stop has arrived."



Old lady left the bus when it stopped, with its well known jerk, that made her conscious again. Her mind was now occupied by his face who daily gazed her with a hidden innocence and shyness which she had always ignored ruthlessly. Old lady made her to feel proud of him as if he belonged to her, this bizarre thought gave her goosebumps. She left the bus too but with a firm decision to talk to him the following day. 


Her favourite piano tune "Love Theme" by Richard echoed in her ears and with a strange smile, she readily ruined her sleep on sofa. While rubbing her hazel eyes she searched for her cellphone to know the time and to unreveal the mystery of that tune coming from her bedroom. Her phone showed "12:00 a.m 3 Dec." She felt a jump from the sofa while her mind started scolding her. Somehow, she made her mind to calm down and finally she stepped down from her cuddling sofa to reach to her room.
The room was brimming with enlightened candles with a cake on the table, she felt overwhelmed but then observed the cake and a wave of laughter blew her off.
"Ahem Ahem ok, I know it looks disastrous but c'mon what else you expect from me" her husband, Arjun, uttered, standing besides her while gazing her with the same eyes which were now some years old for her.
"No, Its so cool although it has eaten up "i" of my name, Shruti, but i know this cake didn't have that much space" she teased her while her eyes were busy in being wet.
"Sorry Shruti, I was making this Shapeless Cake for our Anniversary all the day that i couldn't come to pick you up"
"Shut up, don't behave extra sweet now, it was my mistake so i reserve all the rights of saying sorry"
"Ok ma'am but don't you think you should say something else now?"
"Oh! Happy Wedding Anniversary"
"Pretty smart, that means i have to decode it as "I love you""
Both burst out in a laughter but she ,inside her heart, was promising herself to find time for her "this" life too, apart from her career. She thanked her mother who had proven right, god for Arjun unconditional love and,of course Bus, that was the sole reason of their meeting up,while he was busy caressing her hair.



Saturday, 7 December 2013

#5 Quote

The day you over do your laugh
Is the the day, you feel tired of explaining.

Brave Grave

She could have belonged to him
If he had desired it deadly to behave brave,
But now she is gone far from him
So he carried this guilt till his grimacing grave.

#4 Quote

For a thing Ugly to you,
You are not the right eye.

Saturday, 23 November 2013

How Can I Say

It was just a normal morning when my "smart" phone started Blinking with its blue light to highlight that there is a notification from facebook (too smart!). After a long reluctance i finally got it in my hands. after swiping my pattern (I always feel weird in drawing a pattern decided by myself only, can't cell be that smart to know that it's its owner who is unlocking it?). Soon after this "security" steps got completed, I got to know that my friend has posted something on my wall. With a child curiosity and a fear of embarrassment (You know, how friends are!), I opened that link. It was a normal-hilarious post saying, indirectly, that I am a cellphone's addict.
Although I knew it was somewhat right, I started a comment-fight.We fought for some six-seven comment then she ceased our fight in an earnest way. I got uncomfortable at my place. After a long pause i realized, "Shit! i upset her!". then, i tried to put my point but as we all know anger switch off our "wisdom-torch".


So, after my failed attempts of making myself understood, I tried to understand her. Then, I realized how some small little things can cause conflicts just because of difference in perceptions. My mind started boggling on what to do to make her see our friendship above "misunderstandings".Nothing came to my mind so forgetting what's going on my life, I opened my "Evernote" to write (see, now even writing requires cell).
I didn't realized when my words took the rhyming side to form a poem. After I was finished writing , I thought, "what's stopping me to make her read this?". Thus, without making any further delay I decided to send it to her but then an idea struck my mind that if our fight was because of some facebook's post then why not end this through a facebook post only.
I did as mentioned i.e., I posted my poem on her "wall". Then, she read it and her "caring- loving-sweet-friendly" side came up on top of her heart's brim thus overcoming her anger and she realized, "Nothing so stupid can break our peppy-friendship" . At the end of the day, we were like before actually more close now as a new understanding between us was born that day. That is, misunderstandings can never win over a true friendship. I thanked my conscience for making me to write. Also,I got a new reason to love poetry because sometimes it can convey, in a exquisite manner, what we want to say but couldn't express it otherwise.
Now, I want to share that poem here,







How can I say world is wrong
When I know my heart too is a evil strong


How can I say world don't understand
When my own words fail to get a stand


How can I say world hurt me a lot
When I am the cause of many hurts others have got


How can I say world is ruthless
When I am too care-less


How can I say world don't hear
When I too forget to share 


How can I say I am always right
When I can't see the thing from other sight


How can I say my words can never pain
When they are responsible for my loss and gain


How can I say to end this silence
When I have missed your all cared glance 


How can I say "I am sorry"
When I know I have only created this lament story 



Still I am here because you know my eyes
And My peppy face, my pjs and my silent cries



Still I am here after making you sad and getting you hurt
As I know you will forgive because ,unlike me , you have a heart.






Wednesday, 20 November 2013

Sunday, 17 November 2013

Vanilla Ice-cream


Siya, an innocent girl, who is too pampered and loved, was dragged by her friends to go to mess to have dinner. Siya didn’t like food served in her hostel’s mess as it contained garlic while she was from a Brahmin Family thus was not used to it. Mess food also made her to long for her mother more. Hence, she preferred to eat from outside or to cook magi herself but that day Shristi, one of her fast friend in hostel, told her that today Ice cream will be served too. So, she reluctantly agreed to have dinner there.

As she entered the mess, she looked at everyone’s tables around decorated with their ice cream bowl. Some were filled with white ice cream while some had pink one. She noticed the White ice Cream more delicately and said to herself, “Vanilla Ice-Cream”. Those Words to herself took her somewhere else far from this “mess”.


“She is enjoying the small night lamp with lid in train as she curiously wants to know if that lamp lit just after she opens its lid or it remains enlightened always. While doing such a crazy stuff, she checks if curtains of her berth have been drawn properly or not so that no one catches her doing so. Her mother sitting just below her berth asked her if she has stopped reading her novel or not as according to her mother reading in a moving train is not  good  for her eyes. Siya knows it too as she is a science student but she feels helpless as she considers herself to be a “Book-Addict”. But as a matter of luck she is not reading that time as that lamp successfully distracts her so without any guilt she replies,” No mommy, I am about to sleep so you too sleep now, Good night”.

This is her tour to Varanasi, her mother’s maternal home. She is both excited and frightened. She is excited as she is going to meet her grand-mother, Nanii, after almost three years. But she is frightened as her mother has acknowledged her in advance that her mamiis, her mother’s sister-in-law, are very arrogant and cruel. Her mother said so because they are extremely rude to her mother i.e.,  Siya’s sweet and loving Nanii. And as a normal human being Siya believed her mother. She had been instructed by her mother to still behave properly with everyone there as her misbehaving may adds to her nanii's problem.

 With a smiling face she enters her mom's blooming place, it made her feel happy. Besides, there is a “live river” i.e. Ganga flowing just outside house which made her excitement to reach cloud nine as she loves water immensely. She greets everyone there happily with her “family-renowned beautiful” smile and a bizarre bond got into the picture. She meets everyone there with a warm feeling. Seriously, She doesn’t have any hard feeling for anyone in her that “family”. As Siya never considers anyone bad for her, all are equally good, atleast in the starting, for her i.e., she never makes any preconceptions for anyone. This tour is no exception so everyone there made her to feel good. But the truth is yet to be revealed.

She meets her Nani whom she calls Nonii. On looking her at first, she feels stuck to her place where she is standing. She has always watched her “Nonii” to be self-dependent, self-efficient and a lady with strong will power as firm as pillar of temple standing on the bank of Ganga which she has seen while entering this house. She feels crying inside as she notices her “red-faced” Nonii to be as pale as corpse. She feels an urge to go to her Nonii and give her support. This thought made her guilty as she knows her “Nonii” never demands external support and always refuses ruthlessly if someone offers her  help. But at very next second, she understands it very well, “She needs help even if she refuses for that”.

Her mother hugs her “mother”. And one of her Mami tells her mother in a taunting way that Nonii has been waiting for her since a week before her arriving date and she had today enchanted for thousands of time that her daughter can arrive today at any moment. On listening to this, Siya notices her mother “wet eyes” and she realises the same wetness in her eyes too but she controls it. Siya happily accepts everyone’s complements for her looks as well as for her accomplishments in studies while deep inside she wants to reply them, “above all this materialistic thing, I am a better human than “you” but she buries this thought immediately, as she knows it is extremely wrong to compare and more importantly they are her elders.
But her Nonii seems lost now. She even fails to recognise which one of her three daughters has come to meet her. They have breakfast together then, her Nonii demands her hands to be washed now ,so her mother stands up immediately for  her own mother. Siya gets a little surprise to see her mother standing so quickly as if today she has got some “super power”, inspite of the fact that Siya’s mother  suffers from knee problem. After some time, her Nonii gets her hands washed but after a minute she demands her hands to be washed again as she forgets that her hands has been washed earlier. Siya now gets more uncomfortable that her “Nonii” ,who has narrated so many her own childhood stories to Siya, now fails to remember something happened just few minutes before. Siya’s mother tries to tell her what has happened to her “beloved” Nonii but she stops her mother as she cannot imagine her Nonii with some disease as dreadful as its name which can’t even be pronounced properly.
 
Next day, she goes with her mother to visit different temples there but her heart asked her everytime she entered a different temple, “ if God is here, too close to my Nonii, Can’t they take care of her like he does for her?” But she hides this question from her mother as she doesn’t want to add to her afflictions. While they are coming home, Siya notices an Ice-cream parlour and insists her mother to take Ice- cream for everyone there. Her mother agrees as she has never refused to Siya demanding something from her. In the parlour, she buys a brick of ice- cream, strawberry flavoured, as it is Siya’s favourite but her mother takes two Vanilla Ice-Cream cups too. Siya with a bizarre expression asks her mother why she is buying this flavour. Her mother replies, “it is for your Nanii”. Siya gets surprise again as she knows her Nanii, a true Brahmin with simple “pure vegetarian” taste i.e. her nonii doesn’t even touch onion and considers ice cream like thing to be wastage of money. But Siya doesn’t want to advise her mother not to buy it as she knows “Her mother is never wrong”.






After the dinner, her Mami directs Siya to give that “Vanilla” ice-cream to her Nonii. She reaches her Nonii doubting if she will even agree to eat it but today her Nonii proves her wrong. She takes away the cup from her, happily. Siya sits beside her to watch her eat “ice-cream” while a reel of her childhood rolls in her mind where her Nonii had crinkled her face on seeing such things. Her Nonii keeps telling her problems and sometimes stories too while eating her ice cream. She feels touched by the joy her Nonii is experiencing while eating her ice-cream as if she has never hated it. Siya is lost in her thoughts when her Nonii demanded one more cup and tells her, “ice-cream bhut tasty hai” (“ice-cream is too good”). On hearing such words her hindi teacher’s words comes to her mind where he has told the class, “human lives in a cycle, first he is born like a child then grows and finally become old but when he grows old his childhood starts returning i.e. once again in his life he demands care and love”. Today she realises yes her teacher was right as she could easily see a child whom she has never seen before in her “Nonii”. She stands to get another cup for her. While walking towards the kitchen for cup, her innocent immature heart learns that “human Desire and joy doesn’t depend on his age as it never grows old”. Thus, it is wrong to deprive old people from joy, that you feel, that can make you happy. As every age enjoys a joy with same cherishment, although the way of enjoying can vary. She realises her Nonii doesn’t want a company to be with her all the time but yes she craves for a company just to spend few hours with her. She promises herself that the helplessness her mother is feeling to help her own mother will never come to her. She decides to devote her mother time, may be of an hour, always, despite of the fact how busy she would be with her life.”

“Siya, which flavour do you want, Strawberry or Vanilla?” her friend, Shristi, asked her almost shouting as she has been asking the same question from last few minutes. “Oh! Sorry, I was thinking something else, Bhaiya, give me one Vanilla cup, please!” She said coming back to her mess again but with a hidden tear in her eyes. She enjoyed the ice-cream truly while her heart was remembering her Nanii who has demised soon after her return from Varanasi though the promise she has made to herself that day remained alive.


Saturday, 16 November 2013

FAITH: Above Destiny

It’s so irritating when you longed for something but you didn’t get it. It feels like “ehuuu why it’s happening to me? Why didn’t it like I want it to?” blah blah..

I am feeling the same as I waited for something very eagerly that it took away my sleep also. I had imagined that happening so many times that when it happened in a different way I was full of anger and disgust. As a normal human I cursed god (who else). My mind stopped the door to understanding and I behaved in a silly way asking stupid questions, thinking craps, imagining bad consequences and so on.

When I was tired of thinking ill I closed my two sided window to the world and entered my world within. I thought of demanding something from my mom and realised it never happened that she had not done what I wanted her to do. She always stood up to my expectation even above that. I thought of my father, whenever I asked him to bring something for me, not even for a second I think that he would not bring it. Now, let us think for something odd to happen. Let’s take an example of our friends. My friends never get changed in a day i.e., they behave on a random day like I have expected them to .They never become stranger the other day. The answer is “No”.

Then, I thought of some materialistic world. My watch it never shows wrong time no matter how many times I look at it. It works as it supposes to be or in a manner I had expected it without any doubt. Day and time never changes nor does night come before.

Then, why something related to me took a wrong route.

After a long silence, a word came to my mind “FAITH”.




When I asked something from my mom or dad I never think even for a nano second that she wouldn’t do it. It’s just that I want it with full faith to be more precise I actually wanted it. My friends never shows awkward behaviour because my friends are my behaviour‘s mirror .I made them friend with a unexplained faith thus never think of their doing something I won’t understand. My watch never showed wrong time because I had never ever had thought so, Day night time never changed because I never doubt so. I had faith. I trust them.

What I mean to say that yes I might have wanted something very eagerly but where I lacked was faith. In my mind there was a corner housing a thought that what if it doesn’t happen? Or may be that corner was saying will it happen? Or maybe it was showing possibilities of its failure. In simple words, that corner existed because my faith left that place for it to be occupied by “Fear”. Now for a second think of that moment where you have bewilderment regarding that “awaited thing”. I bet you can’t say that you had never imagined its unsuccessful accomplishment. So what I am dying to say is what you really want, on which you never doubt, for which you don’t need other to say surety words is always yours!

Time demands faith at every phase. Sometimes, it patiently ask you to believe in it i.e., to believe in time while sometimes time craves you to grow your faith on your own self. Time is fast changing phenomena as sometimes it may also kindly ask you to have faith on a “person”.  It tenderly teaches you how to faith in prayers and god which are most likely to face challenges when it comes to perceiving it further but then “Faith” once made never goes . Many times we say “I have lost my faith on that” but deep inside you know that you are still craving to have it again. Our faith can get a pause but not a break. Remember, when you were a small child that was the faith of your “mother” which made you grow.

So before waiting imagining or wanting something ask your heart if it could have faith on it. If it says yes then that thing will happen for sure. Nothing in this world could stop it from happening because then you had faith, something above destiny!


Believe me!



Monday, 11 November 2013

Doll House

From this world called real I want to fly,
To a new world so fancy that make me hide.

Calm Cyclone

When I thought life now is calm quiet lame
and at peace,
shaggy fog came
and everything shattered once again, as piece.

Look

In your book of life,
If you felt my presence's light,
At least once in your sight,
Then I am always with you
Just look around your right!

#2 Quote

Best "sin" to do is to ignore those eyes waiting for your look.

#1 Quote

Sometimes we are boring, not life.

Friday, 8 November 2013

Anger And Soul

Hello Readers,

Today, I am sharing one of my “serious” poems: ANGER AND SOUL but before sharing it I would like to give you all a mind state to read it. We all have times where we wanted to control our anger or I should say where we must had controlled our anger but somehow we couldn’t. Then, what we got after is never appreciated and in a way we regret for our anger in those times. I too had a time where anger completely conquered me and I did some ruining tasks. While I was in control of anger, wisdom of difference between “right and wrong” got foggy so anger very smartly manipulated my thoughts and actions.

But something more powerful lies in us too. That is, our soul.  A person who listens to his soul never gets distracted by the evils of anger. Soul is the one can enlighten our way whenever foggy anger makes it unclear. To listen to your soul is nothing extraordinary or different but it’s like listening to your heart because heart speaks the language of soul only. I know it’s a little risky task to do but it is also the best task to do. I know it is not always possible to do but then it is not “impossible” too.

Here is my poetry in which I have described how anger could destroy you and to which extent besides I have also explained how soul came to rescue. It is a poem describing killing nature of anger and healing nature of soul. This poem will also tell you how anger, after destroying you, still do not feels satisfied but then how a soul can serve you as a knight and saves you. It is a total work of imagination and fantasy which will “try” to make your own experience with anger to form an illusion in your mind. So, here it goes,



ANGER AND SOUL

With all my words that slander
I asked thou anger
Why you have embraced me so firmly
He remained silent, instead gave me a wry
When I was about to die
As I could not even cry
He hold me up and said
I was the one who invited him with glad
These word made my senses shiver
Eyes got wider and actions so lame got quicker
He grinned while I got shattered
But No one came to get my pieces gathered
Soul looked at my remains
Tears falling from her like a rain
As she realized nothing is left to loose or gain
So, With all her mighty grace
Tried to make me again with a great pace
As she knew time was less for my sake
And trickling down to end was not time but my heart race
Dried her tear she stood by me
Moulding for the world new "I" she could see
But there he the anger stand still to ruin me
Thus, She made him go by wings of forgiveness flying free
Set new fences for him with her decree
Then she turned to me and hailed
Felt collapsed with my face so pale
Forgive forgive forgive she cried
Let them flow the tear deeply dried
Set yourself free than to regret
That was time that will never again meet
Let it go as it was it destiny
Turn to new page for a life too shiny
Her words were not words but healing
Gave me a faith for further sailing
With broken like corpse but a soul so strong
I took a turn from the way wrong
Where anger had met
And my breaking was set
Turn was hard, harsh and lament
But happened so now I am on a road dormant
I looked around, everything is white
New bright quiet empty and wide
But I will fill it with colors
As I have got it after a strange struggle.
It's a part new of my book
Smile will be drawn without any mock
Glitter will cover my eyes
With all truths and no place for lies
Where words will be euphony to hear
And touch that makes scar go clear.



Thanks For Reading!

Monday, 21 October 2013

Books: My Eternal Love


Dearest book,
The first time I realised that I love you was in my kindergarten award ceremony where I have grabbed you as my reward for good handwriting. I clearly remember its front cover wrote “Snow white and the seven dwarfs”. I opened it at my home and for the first time I smelled you. Oh! God, you smelled really nice and same is true for today. I didn't read you that day, but read when I was in second grade as I was somewhat lazy then.
Each year whenever my new grade was about to start, I always got too excited and thrilled not for a fresh grade and friends but for “you”. I used to torture my parents to bring you to me at earliest. Sometimes, I got angry with them because of you. It’s so funny to tell that when my mom asked to discard old “you” I got extremely sad that my eyes got floated in its salty sea called “tears”. But new “you” somewhat calmed me down. I smelled of your so familiar fragrance that made me dreams of reading your untouched pages by me for the first time as if saying “I belong to you only”. I liked that feel so much that made me possessive for you and now it’s one of my traits. Whenever somebody asked me for you, I have always been reluctant to give away not only because I was possessive for you but also because I doubted if that somebody would be able to take care of you in the same manner as I did. Even a single wrinkle on you given by anyone, save me, crinkled my nose. Although I always knew everyone has a right to know you i.e. to read you but then I never felt comfortable, in other words helpless to imagine you, my book, with someone else.
Time grew so is my love for you. With my changing age your cover changed too. It started with fairy tales then to comics followed by colouring books, puzzles world, newspaper magazine, and Maths book, novels and so on. I was nervous when you got split from a single “Science” book to three books: Physics, Chemistry and Biology. But slowly, I realised that I have loved those descendents with the same dedications. Your increasing volumes, thickness, pages, number etc scared me. But when they came to my way I realised you abode nothing that could ever scare me. You always proved to be a “wrapped wonder” for me.
Today as I was recalling our moments of togetherness a questioned got struck in my mind, “why I love you so much?” As I wanted to answer this question with full sincerity and truth, I got still for a moment and then wrote.




“I always smelled “new” you with an exquisite feel because they gave me a sensation that everything ends whether good or bad to have a fresh new start thus, one should never regret what one has missed. With you, as one of my belongings, I never felt alone as I know people around me can anytime deprive me of their presence but you are the one who will always be there for me irrespective of place, time and situations. In my life there have been times where I have felt that there is no one like me i.e. I felt so isolated but then you came to rescue me to your world where you taught me how to accept then to expect. Whenever I felt despair, your truthful words inspired me immensely, though people advised me too but as you know I never listen to them but you. I have experienced people changing around me with my successes and failures but you are the one who never changed not even when I was at my lowest. You have never demanded anything from me and I know you will never but surely will feebly steal my time away from me. You never said what I wanted to know but said what I should know. I have always craved for peace in this racing world but got it nowhere except at places where you live with your mates i.e. bookstores. You are the one who always made me realise that there will always be so much left to read i.e. to know. You gave me the wisdom of “Incompleteness is vast, so is learning”, i.e. one can never learn completely as learning is a process not a destination. I love the way how your pages absorb my fallen tears and become uneven and wrinkled as if saying to me, “I am sad too”. You give me my reason for existence and with you I discover my foggy identity. You are my reason to escape and my only place to escape. You always make me feel wanted and peppy. I can never recall a moment where I have regretted your togetherness. We two neither had any argument nor any confrontation. I have many times thrown you away while I was upset with somebody but you never complained, in fact, this act always made me feel guilty thereafter thus, distracting my mind towards your well being hence, my afflictions got flew away instantly and after that I brought you back in my, caring but sometimes rude, hands. In this way, obscurely you solved my anger without uttering a single word. You are my source of power, all positive vibes, inspiration, aspiration, appreciation, affection and happiness. This elaboration of my love for you can never end as it’s eternal so while leaving my further unexplained love for you to silence I want to say, “I love our lost world”.”

Thanks for being with me “always”!  





Monday, 14 October 2013

EYES!!

Hello Readers,

In this world, I think there are three most mysterious words of life: water, time and eye. I wrote about water but never felt satisfied with my words dedicated to it. I tried to write about “time” but it proved to be hard nut to crack which is incomplete till now and I believe it will take my life-”time” to write on “time” .

Lastly I settled to express my bizarre and deep views on “Eyes”. I have tried to incorporate all its traits in it but I know Eyes’ nature can never be described up to its brim because it varies with every soul. No two person’s eyes can reveal the same emotion to be expressed using same way. Everyone has a unique way to express itself thus giving a unique shade to eyes.


I titled my poetry on Eyes as “Life’s Mirror” as they reflect to the outside world our insights.
 

 



Life’s mirror: Eyes

Accept my look, I am eye
The one which makes other realize
Your happiness ignorance and your cry
I too have attire to make me unify
Let’s brief them for awhile

When you are blooming
I wore flickering glitter
And a one blue so glooming
Whenever you tasted bitter
With a great bizarre which ever you get
An extreme happiness or a killing cause to upset
I wore different colors yet wet

Besides attire I wear expressions
Anger surprise or fear gifted expansions
Whenever blush, felt shy or to hide within a mansion
I lifted my gaze and took a downward accession
Mmh! That’s called a bride’s possession

I am where secret lies
 Where happiness is born then resides
And where it quietly dies
Alas! I abode tears and lies
But that too is my complementary side
Thus incomplete without anyone of the tie
 As I am the place picturing your life.


Thanks for Reading!
                                                                                  



Friday, 11 October 2013

He And She : A story based poetry

Today, I was doing online shopping for novels. My random search ended with a novel named "12 Hours : An Anthology of 12 Beautiful Stories" and its front cover mesmerized me.While I was going through the payment procedure a story's reel got started playing and I just couldn't stop myself from describing it with my words.
So, here it goes,


Once upon a time's frame,
there was He and She like names
when He came
She was lame

so He introduced
while She remained crude
He chuckled and tried to reveal
but She was rude and tried to conceal
thus to know, He took a friendly turn
and unknowingly She accepted it as a rising sun.

Slowly time passed yet so swift
He and She got a grip
although He and She talked so rare
but they thought as they cared
He was like her still so different
that She sensed something which was dormant
He was loving but somewhat rigid
She was caring still so stupid
He was hard and darkened high
while She was soft and fragile
But they got trapped in a destiny attack
that followed the law," opposite attracts".

Now, He and She had a bond strong
to tackle if something going wrong
but She got a thing flashy so bewildered
He doesn't know this so just shivered
She's present got controlled by past
He obscurely tried but couldn't get what He had cast.

She started moving far away
He realized nothing not even what to say
for a second She was waiting to be called
He so silly missed the racing time ball
She experienced a fall like kite
And He just angrily left the sight
Without even questioning for which He had right.

She got hurt and a hatred immense
As He accepted so easily her absence
She lost again her newly born loving sense
While He absorbed all in his eyes
And stood again to live with a smile

A fog of differences threw them apart
He and She lied there consoling broken hearts
She tried for peace of giving
While He tried a happy living.

One day,She realized that her ruining afflicts
was nothing but a reason to cause conflicts
But He didn't notice and held everything wrong
What She couldn't understood her time that acted as storm.

There they stood in a air so silent
with a happy mask that hid all what was lament
Then,He chose to escape this air
while She stood with a hope so mere
He walked from her far too far
from where She couldn't see him, not even left scar
She lost all with nothing to gain
Just some memory to nourish pain
He disappeared without giving to what has occurred even a name.

Now when She came
He is lost by a time tickled game
So,She too ended her waiting rain
With "never to return" ignited flame.

Some stories don't promise a happy end
as they happened just to create some memories sand
such don't promise to live together
but occurred to have a memory heap gathered.





Thursday, 10 October 2013

YOUR CENTER : Self-Center

“Self-centered” word pinches people as if someone has called them “self-fish” and most of the people perception for this word are not positive. I know being self-centered means you are preoccupied by your own concern and never think about other’s concern. But it don’t mean “self-centered” person is harmful or being self-centered is unacceptable to be more precise I want to say being a little self-centered is “healthy”. Now the question arises how?
So, let me explain.
People of my age (Oops! I mean teenage and youth) are most attracted to relationships, links up and break ups (off course!). We get attached to that “someone special” so much that our world shifts its center from us to that person as a result our thoughts revolve around it. What we think is replaced by what that person thinks so we try to have traits set by it rather than reinventing our own personal traits. And whenever we try to become what our nature don’t allow we face adjudications. It’s said that “Change is a rule of nature” but don’t forget “Habits can be changed, not our nature”. So, when we try to change our selves instead of trying to reinvent an alarm should ring as we are going to a wrong path. The case is worst in case of unrequited love. Otherwise two lost people have a chance to be found together but when a single person got lost chances for its comeback is nearly zero. What I am trying to say is that in this speedy generation where nothing last for much (like size of mobile phones) it would be silly to forget about your own concern for a bond transient or take a long time before getting attach too much so that when your relation goes downhill your soul don’t. That is to take things seriously more than one’s capabilities calls for feeling depressed. You make suffer from sleepless nights, “no-smile” disease (named by me J ), loss of appetite, anger, frustrations etc.
It’s good to make your life revolve around something but then, don’t miss your life to rotate around you just like our “only lively planet known” i.e. Earth. Imagine earth stop spinning but revolves! Would earth traits be same then? Or then it would be as perfect as it is now? We all know its answer i.e. a big “No”. Same applies to us so try to a little self-centered and reinvent yourself. As I believe before loving and caring for someone else, one should first love one’s self. When we feel happy with our own selves we are more likely to be attractive and admired ones.
So open your arms wide to embrace no one but yourself. Accept yourself then other around you. Feel happy and make other happy. Love yourself and feel being loved!!
Find a reason for life, not a person for life!!
Have a happy, healthy and lovely life!

Wednesday, 9 October 2013

THE PHASE : NEVER LEFT UNTOUCHED

Hello readers,
The phase I am going through is a phase encountered by everyone once in a life time. The phase I am talking about is the phase when you are not adjudicated by others properly as they aren’t looking beyond their personal perspective about you. At this juncture, you may feel like repudiated and start questioning yourself whether I am doing things right for me or are these things really meant for me or why all these is happening to me.  At this point, something inside says to bow in front of your vex but the right thing to do at this time is to start everything again or to start looking at things that just happened with a different prospect, a prospect you have never gone through. This phase may mould you to be a gallant or may make you a coward. If you are determined to face your failures just as a cost for something more auspicious then nothing in this world could obstruct your way to success. But if you have loosen your hope and consider everything happening around to be just meant to make you fall again then you are entangled in the trap of pessimism thus nobody in this world could make you stand again. Hence, it is said “life is what you make it”.

Now this discussion would be incomplete without writing my own encountering to this phase hence I am describing it too here. Mine experience to this phase is like I am walking through the road full of bewilderment. This feeling is untouched by everyone around me. And I inefficient to explain them what am going through thus silently taking the road of silence residing outside and clamouring inside. This clamour in me seems eternal to me but I know I must not harbour this as to abode clamour is equivalent to settling my worries and difficulties without solving, thus, overcoming them. As soon as I commence to look at my bewilderment with bullishness I sense elucidation. Then, casually I am again full of enthusiasm and an inexperienced hope. I think these were missing earlier from my consciousness. Now I am ready again to face this world but this time to achieve what I am meant for, not for what I have fancied.  This clarity of thoughts accomplishes me with a determined apprehending success. Now at my workplace I don’t envy other but creates my own world of admiration and acceptation.  I am happy and in acceptation of spreading this happiness. Now if a person in front of me seems depressed then I don’t get attracted or frustrated towards it but try to console.

I hope everyone reading this short passage knows exactly what I am talking about as this phase which I have described is never left untouched by life. I wish them a really optimist and a happy life. With this hope I down my pen and promise to encourage again!

                                                                                                                                      

Tuesday, 8 October 2013

That One






























Not the one who want my smile,
But the one who make my eyes shine

Not the one who want my touch,
But the one for whom my mere presence works

Not the one who demand thy time,
But the one who steal it which was mine

Not the one who need my words,
But the one for whom my hug is world

Not the one who make Whole day enjoyable,
But the one who can give me just a moment memorable

Not the one who admire my beauty,
But the one who accept my scars with sincerity

Not the one who ruin my nights,
But the one who make me sleep wide

Not the one who expects from me,
But the one who accepts me

Not the one who walks with me whatever it says,
But the one with whom I turn to right way

Not the one who carry me in his arms,
But the one who can make my racing heart calm

Not the one who give me advice,
But the one who aid me to rise

Not the one who catch me lie,
But the one I need not to lie

Not the one who says, “I understand”
But the one who can, after every fall, make me stand.









Monday, 7 October 2013

A DYING ZEAL



Walk when you don't know where to go
Battle with silence when you want to your scream to grow
Open your eyes wide when you want to close
Feel when you want to ignore
Help when you are unable to see yourelf rose
Count when you don't want time to mould 
Sing when your words forget to sing
Pray when you don't want to win
Feel pure when you get confront with your sins

Because, 
Then your smile returns with your grim
And surely then your senses will sing
With a heart that rings
Pushing you to cross your rim.